Her Boys
by Bumblebee93
Summary: Two stars hung in the window. One for each of her boys. They were supposed to live happily ever after. This was anything but. In honor of Veteran's Day.


**Disclaimer: Do not own Degrassi. Or Just A Dream by Carrie Underwood. **

**In honor of all those who have died defending their country. **

**Clare- **

**_It was two weeks after the day she turned eighteen  
All dressed in white  
Going to the church that night_**

She was officially an adult. There were no restrictions on what she could do. She could do whatever she wanted to do with her life. She could be with her soldier. She smiled at the very thought. Her Eli had been overseas for a little over a year and she'd hated every minute of it.

Her mother told her not to get attached. A lot of boys weren't coming home and they didn't want to see Clare get hurt. Each time they told her this was a bullet to the heart. The last thing she wanted to think of was Eli being shot at by the Germans.

Two stars hung in the window; one was gold while the other remained blue. One for each of her boys.

**Flash back…**

_Jake was her older step-brother. They'd grown up together, they'd done everything together. He had always been there to protect her. She was never picked on as a child simply because of Jake. _

_The night she'd found out he had enlisted she hadn't reacted. Her mother cried, Glen had gone to bed without a word, and she had simply sat there. It had taken a while for the news to settle in. _

She'd sat outside on the old swing set the night before Jake was to be shipped out. Swing quietly in the cool night air, she thought about all the memories they had back here.

_He was seven, and she was six on the day in August when he'd bet her that he could swing higher than her and jump further than her. She had won that bet, and he had broken his arm. He'd spent the rest of the summer with his arm in a cast. Clare feeling guilty about him getting hurt, promised him, right there underneath the swing set not to do anything fun without him. It meant no bike riding, no swimming, no tree climbing, but she did it. Simply because she loved him. _

_The night before Jake left for War, the two had sat underneath the same swing set. He promised her that he would be safe. He promised her that he would come back home, and he would be there, at the wedding, standing right beside the groom. In return, she promised that she would keep him updated on the trials and tribulations of life in Toronto. _

Jake hadn't kept his promise. That was the gold star. He had died during a night raid, one of his men had been shot. He had acted selflessly and tried to save him. Same old Jake. He protected everyone but himself.

_That night would be embedded in her head for the rest of her life. The man in uniform came up to the front door and handed her mother a telegram. Helen had barely opened it before grief consumed her. Clare had stood on the stair way and watched as her mother broke down. That was the night she learned her brother was killed._

**She had his box of letters in the passenger seat  
Sixpence in a shoe, something borrowed, something blue**

_Eli was her "Prince Charming" and her mother had hated him from day one. Everything that Clare loved about him, her mother hated. His sweet caring demeanor was usually kept hidden underneath a scowl. The only time he ever really seemed to smile was when he was with Clare. _

_Her mother viewed him as a hooligan, and applauded him graciously when he'd announced that he too had enlisted. Clare's reaction to his news had been far different than her reaction to Jakes. She had burst into tears, begging and pleading with him not to go. She couldn't bare the idea of both her boys being over there. War wasn't a kids game. It was real. _

_That night. Right there on the swing set, Eli had proposed. Getting down on one knee, he'd asked her to marry him. He made her the promise that he would come home, and as soon as he did, they would get hitched. _

_Clare had agreed profusely, adding him to her list of letters to send. _

_The letters Eli sent her were her life line after Jake's death. If Eli wrote her, she knew he was okay. He was alive. He complained about the food, the cold, the Nazis. He told her of how much he missed her, how much he wanted to be home with her. How sorry he was that Jake was gone. _

As the letters began to dwindle, so did her hope of him coming home.

**And when the church doors opened up wide  
She put her veil down  
Trying to hide the tears**

**Present.. **

_"You ready for this Clare?" Jake asks, taking her arm in his. She stands in front of the large doors of the church. Dressed in white from head to toe. She couldn't be more ready. Nodding slowly, she grins at her older brother. Slowly they go, step after step, down the aisle. She almost reaches the end of it when it happens. _

_Jake is gone. Just like that. He disappears. As she looks around the tiny church, wondering where he went, she realizes the building is completely empty, except for her and Eli. She turns to him confused, only to discover he is lying on the floor. Covered in crimson blood. _

She awoke in a cold sweat. The same dream had been occurring night after night since the news. That was the moment she remembered everything that had happened. Jake would not be coming home. Eli would not be coming home.

**Oh she just couldn't believe it  
She heard trumpets from the military band  
And the flowers fell out of her hand**

_She enters the tiny church, walking down the aisle all alone. Dressed in black, she approaches the dark wooden coffin. The lid is closed tightly, an American Flag covers the top. The roses she held in her hands fell to the floor as she collapses to her knees. She cries._

**Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe**

This isn't happening. This isn't real.

_Adam and Drew come to the front of the church, dressed in black suits. They gently help the girl up as she sobs hysterically. Guiding her back to the front pew, they sit. _

**It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background**

**Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream**

_Everyone whispers amongst themselves after her little episode. They all knew Clare Edwards. She wasn't the type of girl to lose all control. Helen had talked with many of the women in the church about her daughter's engagement. How she had disapproved. The old women would agree with her, criticizing every little aspect of Elijah Goldsworthy._

_Now sitting here, they couldn't help but pity the poor girl. She had lost two of her boys over there in Germany. _**  
**

**The preacher man said let us bow our heads and pray  
Lord please lift his soul, and heal this hurt  
Then the congregation all stood up and sang the saddest song that she ever heard**

The lump in her throat burns and it takes all she has to not cry during the sermon. _Reverend Paisley stands at his pulpit. He tells them of how this was not an end, but the beginning. Elijah Goldsworthy had died for his country. He had died a hero. _

_She buries her face in a tissue, and shakes. She can feel Drew's arm tightening around her, gently squeezing her shoulder._

**Then they handed her a folded up flag  
And she held on to all she had left of him  
Oh, and what could have been  
And then the guns rang one last shot  
And it felt like a bullet in her heart**

They approach the hole in the ground quietly. Several men from the Guard carry the coffin from the hearse.

_They get ready to lower it into the ground, allowing her a last moment with her fiancé. She leans down and places a kiss on the wood, before murmuring an "I Love You". She steps back as it disappears inside it. They hand her a flag and his photograph in uniform. _

_They raise their guns. And they shoot. _

**Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
I can't even breathe  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream**

From here on out, everyone wonders how Clare Edwards is. When they see her in the grocery store, they greet her with a friendly hello and a smile. People who never talked to her before the death of Eli suddenly have a great concern. She can't believe that he is gone. That her boys are both gone, and never coming back. She'll never hear their voices again. The finality of it all scares her. ****

Oh,  
Baby why'd you leave me  
Why'd you have to go?  
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know  
Oh, now I'll never know  
It's like I'm looking from a distance  
Standing in the background  
Everybody's saying, he's not coming home now  
This can't be happening to me  
This is just a dream

She ignores the whispers around town. She ignores the rumors that spread, she ignores it all. The only thing she can focus on is herself. She looks through old scrap books. The pictures of Jake and Eli fill them, both smiling, both happy, both alive.

**Oh, this is just a dream  
Just a dream  
Yeah, Yeah**

Two gold stars hang in the window, one for each of her boys.

**Thank you to all who have served. **

**Keep in mind..all historical things in here (the stars) were pulled from American Girl books. Please forgive me for my lack of knowledge. **

**-Bumblebee93 **


End file.
